“You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let’s talk about it
Oh, wouldn’t it be nice?”
(Beach Boys – “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”)
You said it, Brian, love is complicated. If only it were as simple as guy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Instead, the routines and rituals that consume contemporary dating culture make the search for a steady partner much more complicated. The frustrations of finding a steady partner affect the likes of awkward college students to desperate middle-aged singles, and the ubiquitous portrayals of fairytale-endings depicted in film and television provide no consolation. Expectations for romance have become largely distorted in this day and age, rooted in idealistic scenarios that are really only likely to occur in Disney movies or Hallmark flicks. As a student in my third year of college, I have been rudely awakened by the unpredictable reality of dating multiple times before, yet rather than drown myself in a pool of self pity as I watch Joel and Clementine fall in love for the hundredth time, I find solace in Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang’s blunt portrayal of dating in the 2015 comedy series Master of None.
What do we think of when we think of dating? Grand gestures, hand-written correspondences, or intense physical chemistry, perhaps? For the majority of young people, the answer is much simpler than that. According to a survey performed by Laurie Essig in the making of her book, “Love, Inc.” the most enjoyable aspect of dating is the opportunity to talk and connect with another person (74-75). And yet, however simple this may seem, the process of actually getting to the place where two people can comfortably sit down and talk is unnecessarily toiling. Even then, if you are lucky enough to find someone who sticks, the question of whether or not that person is ‘the one’ eventually comes to haunt you, urging you to decide between settling and continuing the search for a soulmate who may or may not exist. Ansari and Yang express the ups and downs of these stages of romance in the first season of Master of None, which follows Dev, played by Ansari himself, and his evolving relationship with a girl named Rachel. I will discuss how Master of None captures the fun and painful realities of dating over the course of two brutally honest episodes: “Hot Ticket” and “Finale.”
The third episode of season one brings a familiar set of trials that reminds us of what is perhaps the cringiest part of dating: the first ‘ask-out.’ “Hot Ticket” follows a frustrated Dev as he tries to find a date to take to a concert at the end of the week. Initially, he asks Alice, the attractive server whom he met at a restaurant with his friends. Although she accepts the offer, she neglects to text Dev for the next two days, sending him into a frenzy as he becomes convinced that her ghosting implies that she no longer wants to go. When Alice eventually cancels on him, Dev invites three random women whom he met recently to go to the concert with him, with the intention of taking the first one who replies in the affirmative. The day of the concert arrives and Dev is set to go to the concert with a girl named Sarah, but he receives a text from Alice; her plans have changed and she wants to go out with Dev. Ultimately, Dev blows Sarah off and takes the “much hotter” Alice to the concert instead.
This sequence of events aptly illustrates one of the most taxing aspects of dating that go virtually unacknowledged in most televised depictions; the emotional stress caused by the anticipation of another’s response is enough to turn you off of the subject of dating altogether. Between those who ghost, those who take days to text back, and those who bail at the last minute, the amount of courtesy that still exists in our generation seems to be dwindling. In “Hot Ticket,” Dev criticizes yet also gives into the tendency to “treat people like they’re just bubbles in a phone,” yet can we blame him? Although no one wants to admit it, I am sure that most of us are guilty of having done the same. Master of None is funny because while we sympathize with Dev, we also laugh at ourselves, at the absurdity of our behavior. All the same, as cathartic as it is to watch someone else deal with this ridiculously complicated correspondence, the episode also reminds us of the unlikelihood that we will ever graduate from it.
The last episode of season one, “Finale,” shows us the other end of the dating spectrum. At this point in the series, Dev has been in a serious relationship with a girl named Rachel, whom he started dating in episode six. After attending a friend’s wedding and hearing the bride and groom exchange unfathomably heartfelt vows, Dev begins to question the potential of his future with Rachel. Unlike the joyous newlyweds, Dev does not feel one hundred percent certain that he and Rachel are meant to be together. This concern erupts in a heated and heartbreaking, yet relatable, conversation involving a cringy game where the two of them write down a percentage that reflects their likelihood of staying together. After considering what they both ultimately want out of life, the pair go their separate ways.
Toward the end of the episode, it becomes clear that the idea that we are supposed to feel a sense of absolute certainty in our relationships is a fallacy – nothing in life is ever certain, especially something as capricious as love. But Ansari and Yang do bring up a good point in addressing the fear of settling. Stories of true love that populate the canon of American film and television do more harm than good in that they make falling and staying in love look relatively easy, as well as perpetuate the concept of the romantic soulmate. Although some people actually do succeed in finding ‘the one’ and living happily ever after, these cases are rare and unique. “Finale” does an exquisite job of portraying a much more common experience in a way that produces an equally affective response. The point of this piece is not to argue that romantic love is inherently hopeless. On the contrary, romantic love is a multifaceted and confusing thing, the honest portrayal of which has the potential to unite us in our shared experiences, whether they are extremely exciting or extremely messy. As such, Master of None presents an unfiltered picture of dating in the twenty-first century that validates the varied experiences of the show’s viewers in a way that both pulls on the heart strings and strikes the funny bone.
Works Cited
Essig, Laurie. “Finding Love: A Modern Tale of Dating, Tindering, OKCupiding, Ghosting, and Generally Putting Yourself Out There.” Love, Inc.: Dating Apps, the Big White Wedding, and Chasing the Happily Neverafter, 1st ed., University of California Press, 2019, pp. 57–82.
“Finale.” Master of None, written by Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang, season 1, episode 3, Netflix, 2015.
“Hot Ticket.” Master of None, written by Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang, season 1, episode 3, Netflix, 2015.
